Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Have you ever witnessed political correctness harm someone?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Can you name a song with the word 'why' in it?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why did it take seven days for troops with helicopters, equipment, supplies, food, and water to be dispatched to southeast storm zones?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I actually pay taxes

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

My son died seven months ago at the age of 24 how do I know if he’s in heaven and can he see me and hear me and why have I not gotten any signs yet from him or Mom just not seeing the signs how do I know if he’s OK how do I know if he’s happy?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones